Tuesday, 21 March 2017

thecorpseunderyourbed: (Default)
...No one makes me feel secure, except you. And now we're all in."
~Kid Cudi

This is, honestly, just a partner appreciation post.

Last night, my partner and I hit up three separate Dairy Queens because it was Free Cone Day. Three. We spent a little money on extra toppings at each one, to not be complete dicks, but yeah... we made a silly little road trip hitting the surrounding DQs for free ice cream. And talked. And joked. And (Sacha, at least) got sick from eating three ice cream cones. It was one of those experiences that can only be described as a child's idea of what adulthood is like. You know... "When I grow up, I'm going to get ALL the free ice cream and nobody can stop me and it'll be GREAT." We got all the free ice cream we physically could. Nobody stopped us. It was great.

When we got back to his house, I lit some candles and incense in celebration of Ostara. I didn't have the chance to really hold a ritual or celebrate the way I normally would, however I did cast a little to further banish our ex-girlfriend and her cronies from our lives. (But more on that another time.) I'd never casted around a non-pagan before, but I somehow feel comfortable enough around him and trust him enough to be my most authentic self around him at all times, even when that means working the craft. I held blot with him for Yule, too. I walked him through sumbel, and we finished off a bottle of mead, and then we curled up on the floor in front of my makeshift altar and talked about everything and nothing.

If I were to have a fairytale romance, I think this would be it.

I've never been this compatible with someone before. He is sweet, and kind, and smart as hell. He is compassionate beyond measure. He is silly and in tune with his inner child, yet mature, responsible, and down to earth. He puts his entire heart into everything he cares about. He is socially conscious. He is easy-going and always up for adventure.

And oh, the adventures we go on. Fire-eating classes, jumping into rivers for New Year's, going on road trips for free ice cream. Driving to Pittsburgh to watch underground theatre performances or traveling to bars to meet up with a friend of mine I haven't seen in two years. Taking him back to my town to visit my favorite lake or window shop at Petsmart or stuff our faces at IHOP. Heck, even just building a blanket fort in his room and watching movies. It doesn't matter how minor it is, every adventure is a memorable one.

One thing our ex-girlfriend likes to throw in his face is the fact that I am a commitmentphobe. She has on multiple occasions told him that I'm "just gonna leave when I get bored because I am commitmentphobic." She brings it up in an attempt to hurt him. But, the thing is...

He knows I am afraid of commitment, and he knows it the same way she does- I'm not exactly quiet about it. From the beginning, I have made it clear that I am neither the marriage nor the parenting types. And he understands. What's more, he knows WHY I am the way that I am, and he understands that, too. She brings it up like it's some big secret, when the truth is, he knows more about that topic (and infinitely more about me in general) than she does or ever will. What's more, he knows (I hope, seeing as I've told him multiple times0 that I have only ever felt this way for someone once before, and even then, it was not this intense. He and I both know I'll probably never stop being afraid of commitment or of the long term. I just know that he makes me want to try.

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